A Child. A party. A celebration. Nothing?

The subject of “parties” and “celebration” came up concerning Andres. I’m not a person who really likes parties, much less throw one. I like get-togethers with a small number of people and going out. My mother-in-law is a Jehova’s Witness and so she doesn’t do parties. Today was my husband’s nephew’s birthday and his parents threw him a little something at Chuck E Cheese. Of course she didn’t go, although she did say she was going to go, I think she would feel bad going when she’s not suppose to go.

Anyway, My husband’s aunt asked if we would celebrate Andres’ birthday, and my mother-in-law, forgetting that he’s my son, not hers, said no, of course not. But I said yes. She looked at me and said, well it’s up to the parents, if they want to throw him a birthday party then okay, but I’m not going to go, I’m not even going to his wedding (now she’s thinking way ahead, he’s only 7 months old!) I’m not going to disrespect Jehova just for something like this. She said it a bit… weird, I guess. Kind of like trying to make us feel bad? But I don’t feel bad.

I have to ask my husband about this. I want to know how he feels because it is his son and I don’t want to disrespect him. He grew up without going to parties or participating in class parties/celebrations. I wonder how he felt as a little kid seeing everyone celebrating and he couldn’t because his mother send them a card saying that he is not to participate. I don’t know, but to me it’s sad because a child should have fun. I would think he’d want him to have fun, but I don’t know how he feels about it. He’s not a Jehova’s Witness no more he says, but depending on how one grows up, i think, they are still going to have some beliefs that will stay with them.

I understand what my mother-in-law means by “it doens’t need to be his birthday or christmas to give something”. Of course it doesn’t need to be. I understand. But what I want is for him to have some fun, especially because kids are always talking about their birthdays and I don’t want him to feel bad and think that we don’t want to give him anything on his birthday. I don’t know if that’s how Jehova’s Witness kids feel like that or not. I’d have to ask my husband.

What do you guys think about this? Is there any reader out there who is a Jehova’s Witness? Or anyone who isn’t?

Babysitters Shouldn’t be Strangers

I cannot believe I have been neglecting my blog for a week already, I told myself I was going to blog at least twice a week, but I just haven’t really been able to. It’s the last week of the first summer session and I’ve had stuff to turn in and I’ve started preparing for finals since yesterday, but I thought I’d take a few minutes and blog, to get my mind feeling nice and relax.

Time is passing by so quickly, Andres is already seven months. I feel like he was just born yesterday. I remember the first time I saw him, the feeling I felt when I first attached him to my breast, and the same feeling I continue to have every single time I breast feed him. These past five weeks I haven’t been able to breast feed him as much and I miss it, but I’m glad he takes the bottle, I know he won’t starve or wait for me. Although he does seem to be so exited when he sees me get home.

I see him and run to the bathroom to wash my hands from the bacteria of the bus, and as soon as he sees that I am leaving he starts crying for me to return and not leave him again. Sometimes I feel bad, but I know that he’s in good hands with his daddy and grandma. It gives me much relief knowing that he’s not under a stranger’s care. Strangers, I believe, will never take care of a baby or child as well as someone who knows him or her and is in very close (and I mean very close) relation to him.

There are very few people who should take care of a child; very few people who have patience and love for children. I remember one time in the shop my husband works in a lady came in with three children. Two of them were hers and the other was a child she was taking care of. She spoke ill about this little girl. Saying that she misbehaved, she was always bad and always dirty. The little girl was playing with the baby, waving his rattle-like toy in front of him while he smiled. The other girl (the lady’s child) was telling her not to touch it, to leave it alone because it’s her baby brother’s toy. The girl didn’t pay any attention to her and continue to play with him. Then the girl shouted to her mother, telling her that she had taken the boy’s toy and she’s playing with it. The mother yelled at her to behave and sit down like a good girl, to leave his toy alone and not take it away from him. Then she turned to my mother-in-law and said see what I tell you? She doesn’t behave. My mother in law didn’t pay any attention to her she just continued to do her work.

Then there are those that physically abuse, not just children but babies as well. And that’s what hits me a lot because babies can’t talk, they can’t say anything, they can’t tell you what’s wrong and if the babysitter is taking good care of them.

Anyway, he’s in good hands. I have to go back to preparing for finals.

Some Fresh Air in the Park

Yesterday I took a day off school and went with my mother-in-law and my baby’s two cousins (13 and 14) to the park. It was awesome. It was Andres’ (my baby) first time at the park, well at the playground anyway. I’m glad I took the camcorder. I went on the slide with him and he was smiling all the way. Then there are little steering wheels at the side of the playground and I stood there holding him while he steered us. He almost crashed into his cousin who was filming him drive.

We also bought McDonald’s for our little picnic and I can tell he is going to be such a little trouble maker. Everything he sees he wants. He sees me drinking soda and he lunges for it, he sees his cousins holding little toy arrows and gun and he lunges for that too. We still had some french fries left over and put them aside. He eyed them and lunged at them grabbing them and then he was shaking it (he shakes everything like if it’s his rattle) and spilled all the fries on him. He paid no attention, he wanted the little box not the fries. We were all eating the fries he spilled on himself, telling him he tasted good; nice and salty.

He needed the fresh air. I try to take him at least out in the backyard with the dogs, so he’s not breathing in all that stuffy air inside the house and room. It’s been very hot lately so I haven’t taken him out as much as I use to.

Our room, where we sleep, has no windows because it’s actually the basement. But it doesn’t feel like the basement because it’s been remodeled to look very nice with tiled floor and a closet. But what I don’t like is that it has no window!! And we cannot change rooms because all the other rooms are occupied already. We should have stayed at the other room we had, but the reason we changed was because of the baby. His stuff takes up a lot of space and the other room was barely enough for both of us, and now the baby is here and we have just enough room for everything.

Is living in the basement bad for the baby? That’s something I’d like to know I mean there is no fresh air coming in, he doesn’t see the sun in the morning. The only thing do get is the crickets in the night, we hear those loud and clear!

Am I Holding him Back?

My husband is a barber and he works in his mother’s Beauty Salon, and THAT is why he (with his mother) is able to take care of our little one while I’m at school. Thank God we do not have to have a strange babysitter. Anyway, at what I’m getting at, I was washing some of my husband’s combs when I overheard what a lady who works there said to my mother-in-law:

“Don’t you [meaning any of us] put him in his walker? He’s almost seven months, he should be crawling already, and just about ready to walk”

I’m wondering, well first of all I’m the mother, I don’t understand why she’s not telling me or my husband, why the grandma? Second of all, my son has his walker, I always put him in there, but he doesn’t reach the floor yet, what am I to do? I couldn’t say anything because I know my mother-in-law, she always says to listen and be quiet, she doesn’t like us (my husband and I) to get involved with anyone, whatever the reason may be. I have to respect her, after all it IS her shop.

Anyway, there I went again- off what I was getting at, are we holding our baby too much? I don’t know if I’m holding my baby too much, but sometimes it’s just easier for me to hold him than to leave him be. It’s not that I don’t want to leave him be and become independent, it’s just that the house is big and I have so much to do; I’m constantly going there, here and up and down, and I’m not about to leave him in a room unattended. I don’t think it’s safe to leave him alone. So now he wants to be in arms all the time. I put him down so I can wash the dishes and he starts crying. I’m sure this is all our fault.  He’s almost going to be seven months, should he be crawling already?

I remember his doctor told me that he is fine and by now, six months, he should be just about to sit, or just sitting (and that is exactly where he was). So those people who say their babies did everything early, are they pushing them too fast? Or are they helping them? By carrying him, are we holding him back from reaching his potential?

A Baby Drinking from a Cup?

My baby boy is going to be seven months very soon. He’s been breast fed most of the time and prefers it than taking the bottle. When I give him water sometimes I have to give it to him in a cup because he likes to hold a cup (more like play with them and spill everything in it). Sometimes I’m drinking water, or whatever, and he sees me and leans forward with his hands up wanting to grab it. It’s weird. I try to give him water in his bottle, but he doesn’t really suck on it, he mostly bites it (maybe it’s because he’s teething?), but when I give him from the cup he puts it to his mouth and sticks out his tongue, wanting to suck the water out. It’s kind of cute. Of course there are always spills here and there, but he manages to take some pretty big gulps. I can hear those gulps!

Unexpected Surprises Steer You in Life

Just a little over a year ago I didn’t know what I was doing, what I was going to do, where I was heading, and more importantly I did not know what I wanted in life or what I wanted to do with my life. That, at least to me, is one of the most frustrating and depress-causing feelings one could have. I felt completely unmotivated, unhappy, and stupid. It is very important to me to know exactly what I want, and not knowing saddened me and made me feel useless to my husband and family. I felt that by not knowing I would sink and drag them along.

That stopped when I was pregnant. It was like a blow, seriously. At first I got depressed and even more frustrated than I already was but, it gave me a path. It seemed to have steered me into a specific path, and now I’m fine. Well, I worry about simple things but not about myself when it comes to who I want to be or what I want to do. My baby boy is my life, taking care of him is what I want and so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to work around my baby.

In a way I’m glad I have a baby boy at age twenty-two and still in school. It is difficult, I won’t lie about that, but once I have my career (Elementary School Teacher), I’ll be able to work around my boy; our schedules will be the same. If my husband and I would have planned to have a baby after I got set on my career (which I’m sure it would not have been a teacher) I would have had to work around my job and not my baby. That’s how I see it. I don’t know how it would have been without my baby, all I know is that it would have been completely different. Of that I’m sure.

Hello world!

I guess I’ll be leaving the blog title “Hello World!” It sounds fun. Well, one of the reasons why I decided to start this particular blog was to write about my experiences being a first time parent at twenty-two years of age (almost twenty-three). I want to find other first-time parents and relate to them, hopefully we can help each other out and share our experiences! I hope there are others like me out there who are willing to add me as a first-time parent friend here in this blog. Let’s share our learning baby experiences, okay?

SilentLadyK