Just a little over a year ago I didn’t know what I was doing, what I was going to do, where I was heading, and more importantly I did not know what I wanted in life or what I wanted to do with my life. That, at least to me, is one of the most frustrating and depress-causing feelings one could have. I felt completely unmotivated, unhappy, and stupid. It is very important to me to know exactly what I want, and not knowing saddened me and made me feel useless to my husband and family. I felt that by not knowing I would sink and drag them along.
That stopped when I was pregnant. It was like a blow, seriously. At first I got depressed and even more frustrated than I already was but, it gave me a path. It seemed to have steered me into a specific path, and now I’m fine. Well, I worry about simple things but not about myself when it comes to who I want to be or what I want to do. My baby boy is my life, taking care of him is what I want and so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to work around my baby.
In a way I’m glad I have a baby boy at age twenty-two and still in school. It is difficult, I won’t lie about that, but once I have my career (Elementary School Teacher), I’ll be able to work around my boy; our schedules will be the same. If my husband and I would have planned to have a baby after I got set on my career (which I’m sure it would not have been a teacher) I would have had to work around my job and not my baby. That’s how I see it. I don’t know how it would have been without my baby, all I know is that it would have been completely different. Of that I’m sure.
